Discount For Seniors' Haircuts

This week is a week of great birthdays. Brad Pitt turns 45, Spielberg turns 62, Don Johnson turns 60, Nostradamus turns 506 and moi turns...older. But by far the landmark birthday this week takes place on Friday, when one Keith Richards turns 65, which in cocaine and heroin abuse years is 173. He is responsible for many hits and responsible for several fine quality Lloyd's stereophonic multi-speaker equipment to fall by the wayside due to constant plays.

So while Ronnie Wood is being dubbed an abusive "evil goblin" by his gal, it is time to give kudos to Mr. Richard(s) who survived drugs, coconut trees, more drugs, Mick Jagger solo projects (did I tell you 1.3 thousand in sales for Goddess In The Doorway? Oops, I did) and rib-breaking brushes with bookshelves with the following makeshift list dubbed "6.5 Moments of Richards' Bliss."

1. Stray Cat Blues (From Beggars Banquet) -- although it ran slower (as did the album) for 30 years thanks to nobody realizing it was recorded at a slower speed, this tune has some terrific moments from the opening licks to the seedy accents after Jagger's snarl during the chorus. And the outro, oh dear lord the outro (reaches for Popeye cigarette)....

2. Pretty Beat Up (From Undercover) -- often considered a horrid effort (but guilty pleasure) from the '80s, this groovy lick is idiotic but just seems to roll along, with Richards' lick wrapping around Jagger spewing on about "her face being a mess" and ensuing battery and dismemberment.

3. Torn And Frayed (From Exile On Main Street) -- aside from the distant harmonies lost in a country-ish fog of barroom piano and pedal steel, the roots-y feel of the picking is apparent from start to finish.

4. Monkey Man (From Let It Bleed) -- weaving as he has much of the last three decades with his apprentice "goblin," this little nugget has some fine riffage in the coda. Unfortunately this coda is rarely fleshed out live in concert a la the middle section of "Can't You Hear Me Knockin'."

5. Wicked As It Seems (From solo album Main Offender) -- quite similar to what would appear as the main hook for Voodoo Lounge's "Love Is Strong" (you know, the video where they are Godzillia-like size pacing around New York City), here Richards leads his X-Pensive Winos through "Hooks For Dummies" handbook.

6. Waiting On A Friend (From Tattoo You) -- light and breezy, Richards almost says more in the spaces here as he does during the performances. That and playing off a sax solo doesn't quite hurt either.

6.5 Live With Me (From August 10, 2005) -- 16 hours in a lineup (5 pm to 9 am), one of 225 to land a ticket the honorable way (not like the 700 to 800 guest-list bastards who ask "What is 19th Nervous Breakdown?") and enter a small sweaty club to hear Keef break into this tune. The $10 ticket is perhaps the last time I will venture to see them.....until the next time?!?